Real world interlude – Passive-Aggrocery Shopping

Tonight was another bad night:

Another one of those nights. Another otherwise perfectly good day where we somehow get sideways with one another, and it ruins my evening. I’ve decided that I’ll start journalling them, because I really want to see if there’s a pattern – Chris says it doesn’t happen often, but it seems to me that it happens about once a week.

Tonight, it was at the grocery store. Chris had clipped coupons, because we’re trying to economize our shopping – money has been tight. We are not accustomed to shopping with them, so that part was a little strange – he never works off of a list, just walks the aisles one after another, so we kept flipping through the little stack of coupons, getting the stuff we had coupons for. As we were about 3/4 through, he gets upset because I wasn’t making more input and getting more stuff into the basket – he tells me it was useless to bring me along, and a waste of time to even go shopping, since we hadn’t put hardly anything in the basket, not enough food to last a week. I tried to figure out what he wanted me to get and straighten it out, but I just wanted to walk out of the store and walk home. He was so hostile and nasty. We kept going, and it seemed to smooth out some, and he seems like he’s blown it off – but I can’t. He’s lying in there on the couch, half-jokingly yelling, “Where’s my DINNER!? Get in there and fix my dinner!”

The main problem that I have with these things, is that we don’t have a clear conflict-resolution-make up pattern; we just get mad, simmer down, and go on with things. He is NEVER wrong, and he never, never apologizes. If I apologize for getting upset, it smooths things over, but it makes me feel like I’m capitulating to his whim. It leaves me with lingering hurt feelings and resentment, and he tells me I’m being ridiculous if I mention it.

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