Dream 20020723, 4:19 AM:
Don’t Forget These Checks
It seems like I’m in the UK or Australia. I’m dating a man – I think he lives here, and I’m a foreigner. He is tall and handsome, with dark hair and fair skin. I like him a lot, but it seems like we fight all the time. It seems like the dream is a long series of tense disagreements; the plot goes on much further back than I can remember.
The first scene that I remember clearly is the two of us in a store – it seems like a clothing store or a fabric store; I am pushing a shopping cart, which I slam against the wall in frustration, and I walk out the door. He stops me, and hands me two checks, saying, “Here, don’t forget these checks.” I am at the door, and he passes them to me through the open door. I take them and tear them in half together, and drop them on the ground. I let the door shut, and I sit down on the concrete against a pillar, and cry. I feel really upset – financially, I can’t afford to do without the money the checks represent, but emotionally, I can’t afford to take them.
A kitten comes over and jumps up on me; I recognize it as one of Greysie’s littermates, although it is one that stayed wild. It looks a lot like her, but is more muscular and a little bit darker in color.
I seem to reach some sort of understanding with myself, deciding that I’m going to stay, and that things will be better. I remember travelling (flying?) along in front of a row of houses, and seeing a man in front of one of them doing something like a television commercial; I know that he’s my lover, and it seems like I’m proud to be dating him because he’s so handsome. Then, I see another guy, and realize it’s a person I used to date. I say something about, “I dated him, and I dated him.” I see a chair, plastic with steel legs, and it has something written on it about “Kid’s Club” I pick it up and carry it with me. I don’t find the Kid’s Club, though, by the time I get where I’m going.
I am at the back gate of a tall wooden fence. I go through it, talking to someone who is with me about clubs, and how my lover used to belong to one. There is something about killing sheep. Then, I am through the gate. There is a building here that is shaped like a Chinese pagoda, but with no walls, only pillars and a ceiling. There are tall pine trees all around. It begins to pour down rain, and the pagoda only has roof on certain sections; I have to jump from section to section to stay out of the rain. It seems like a puzzle. I navigate my way across to the other side of it. I look up, and see a pine tree that has been twisted around something; it looks like a silly straw. I move from the cover of the pagoda to the cover of a row of overhanging trees.
Now, there is someone walking along with me. He reminds me of Rick Giangiulio with the GDYO, but he also reminds me of Chuck Moore. He looks at the rain, and says something about how “That’s what it’s like when a lab gives you its full attention.” It seems like he’s talking about a scientific lab, not the dog. We are walking along a path that seems to be made of crushed lava rock, red-brown and gritty. He says that if I want to smoke, I can. I tell him that I don’t smoke, it just doesn’t seem very smart. He says that for big multi-millionaires, it’s not a smart investment – and he probably shouldn’t do it either.